Property bingo is sweeping the nation
- A nationwide game of Property Bingo has been triggered by a comedian and former estate agent’s witty new glossary for beleaguered property seekers
- Glossary translates infamous go-to estate agent lingo into what it means in real life
- Property Bingo card available to download from https://twitter.com/PrivilegeUK @PrivilegeUK
Comedian and former estate agent, Nick Page, has released a new ‘Estate Agent Glossary’ for Privilege Home Insurance.
The glossary contains 15 key phrases, and debunks the difference between what estate agents say, and what they really mean, using Page’s unique perspective.
The new list has triggered a game of Property Bingo, where players are challenged to see how many of the phrases in Page’s glossary they have heard an estate agent say, or how many they have seen written in a property’s write-up.
Property Bingo is available to download via https://twitter.com/PrivilegeUK with players encouraged to share their scores online using the hash tag #propertybingo.
Estate Agent Glossary
Source: Privilege Home Insurance
| Phrase | Estate Agents' Translation | |
| 1 | An ambitious restoration project | Derelict. Possibly even too derelict to be described as ‘unspoiled’. |
| 2 | Bachelor Pad | Likely to be both compact and bijou, as well as a stone's throw from public transport and local amenities. It's pretty much a myth that it'll be black ash furniture, a massive TV and a hoard of empties, however. Anyone who can afford to buy a place in their 20's now can definitely afford a cleaner. |
| 3 | Blank Canvas | Welcome to magnolia hell |
| 4 | Compact and bijou | Direct translation: it's so small the estate agent can't even be bothered to come up with anything original. At least if they say 'an innovative maximisation of space', you feel they've had a bit of a go. |
| 5 | Excellent transport links | On a railway line, next to a bus station or right by a dual carriageway. |
| 6 | Flexible accommodation | The current owners have done something weird with the layout, and we need you to look past the swingers-style bathroom arrangement and conservatory bedroom. |
| 7 | In a scenic setting | If you stand on a bed with a pair of binoculars you can see a tree if the weather is just right. |
| 8 | Lovingly decorated | Badly wallpapered, with clashing feature walls and a lime gloss ceiling in two bedrooms. Why couldn't they have just painted it magnolia? |
| 9 | Nestling in its own verdant acreage | It has a lawn. |
| 10 | Open to offers | Way over your budget, but I need someone to make an offer, even a stupid offer, as I massively overvalued this house. |
| 11 | A stone's throw from public transport and local amenities | a) On a dual carriageway, so close to a train station that you could open your kitchen as a waiting room. b) Fully illuminated by the glow from a 24 hour garage. c) Nowhere near anything, and the agent has taken 'stone's throw' as a wide definition that includes an Olympic shot putter throwing a stone in space. |
| 12 | Pied à Terre | No estate agent really knows what this means, but they'll sprinkle it across a few property descriptions. It's a bit like the property equivalent of dill in the kitchen. |
| 13 | (As yet) undiscovered by commuters and developers | A three hour journey to anywhere where you could earn enough to pay for it. |
| 14 | Unspoiled | This can mean pretty much anything, from 'idyllic village where you'd expect an episode of Midsomer Murders to be filmed' to 'derelict'. |
| 15 | Up and Coming Area | Former slum. See also 'vibrant', 'on the cusp of renewal', and 'undiscovered'. |
Property Bingo – Play for Yourself
Source: Privilege Home Insurance
Christian Mendes,head of Privilege Home Insurance, said: “We originally partnered with Nick because we thought it would be fun to take a different look at buying, selling and renting property. People’s homes are their castles, whether they’re ‘compact and bijou’ or ‘lovingly decorated’, and we know that the whole process of buying and selling can be a stressful one. At Privilege we do everything we can to ensure that ticking quality home insurance off the ‘to do’ list is a breeze, and one less thing for people to worry about.
“It is no surprise to me that Property Bingo is proving such a popular game. It is a very British trait to be able to laugh at ourselves.”
Nick Page, Comedian and Former Estate Agent, said: “I know estate agents are the people our nation loves to hate – and with good reason! My favourite example from my career as an estate agent is of ‘Michaelwood Cottage’, which turned out to back onto the M5 motorway, right by the turning for Michael Wood services. We described it as having excellent transport links and a range of amenities on the doorstep.”
ENDS
For more information, please contact: Fran Langdon or Laura Nugent at Richmond & Towers:
[email protected] / laura@rtc.london / 020 3179 0720
Notes to Editors
About Nick Page
Nick Page is a story telling comic who has performed in 53 countries so far and earned the Operational Service Medal for his numerous tours of Afghanistan performing to the troops. He was runner up in 2016's English Comedian of the Year, and a finalist for 2017.
He's also an ex estate agent (as well as ex bouncer and ex used car dealer). If it matters (it might) he has a degree in international politics, a surprisingly lovely wife and lives in Gloucestershire.
Privilege
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Customers can find out more about Privilege’s products or get a quote by calling 0345 246 0515 or visiting www.privilege.co.uk